


you are (not) the one

by nonstandardx



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Not Beta Read, Requited love but it doesn't work out, Suicidal Thoughts, it's only one sentence but tagging just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonstandardx/pseuds/nonstandardx
Summary: It's the quintessential childhood friends to lovers romance. A pair splits up and reunites against all odds. When everyone tells you that you are destined to get together, how do you respond?Snapshots of Tsumugi's life and love with Tasuku and how he decides that they're better off as friends.
Relationships: Takatoo Tasuku/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 30





	you are (not) the one

It’s a tried and true romance. One for the movies and plays he’s grown up with. Childhood friends who split apart and reunite realize that they’ve loved each other all along. Cue the credits roll after that long-awaited kiss.

But this is real life. Romances in real life are messy, broken, tied up in string so knotted you’ll have to cut through if you want a semblance of closure. Tsumugi knows that, and it breaks him inside.

“Tsumugi, mind if I borrow Tasuku for a bit - oh I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt our lovebirds!”

“Oh, if only I could capture that yearning, that adoration, that love in the air! You have a relationship described only in the most romantic of Shakespeare’s sonnets!”

“Hmm, you guys look good together.”

And even before the Winter troupe would tease him and Tasuku about whatever they had - even their clubmates in school would tease them endlessly.

“I’m betting 100 yen that Tsumugi and Tasuku will get together by the end of the year!”

“That’s crazy! You have to up the ante! If you want to earn big, you’ll have to go up to 2000 yen!”

“I’m so jealous of you two honestly, even my boyfriend doesn’t look at me the way both of you look at each other. Maybe we’ll have to break up.”

Honestly, even their parents probably would have wanted them to get together. Tsumugi remembers how their mothers, and you know how mothers are with their gossip, would talk about them when they thought the two of them weren’t listening. How they would joke about Tsumugi being better than any actual wife Tasuku would have and how Tasuku would make the perfect husband if Tsumugi had been born a girl.

So when literally the entire world was hoping, praying, awaiting with bated breath for their destined romance, how could the star-crossed duo ever dream of disappointing them?

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Tsumugi first felt an inkling of what he imagined love to be outside of their moments in theatre.

Additionally, contrary to popular belief, Tasuku’s brain wasn’t entirely filled to the brim with theatre. Well maybe like 80% of it. He had space for the multiple sports that he had a knack for, as compared to Tsumugi who was perfectly content with his light and he means LIGHT, runs. Tsumugi would go to Tasuku’s games - whether it be football, basketball, or ultimate. He’d cheer his heart out. Shout and cry simultaneously when points would be scored and lost. Be reduced to a sore and dry throat when everything was over.

It was in a football game. Tasuku scored the winning goal (because that’s who Tasuku had been and always will be, a winner). And in one of the craziest moments of his life, as soon as the end of the game was declared, Tsumugi runs to the field and tackles his best friend to the ground. Something in him screamed at him to do so, to throw his insecurities to the wind and leap into those strong arms, judging faces be damned. He never really looked at Tasuku’s initial reaction but he heard laughter and for him, that was enough. Tasuku was covered in sweat and dirt and Tsumugi looked like he lost his sanity but he never thought that he never wanted to leave that embrace and oh. That’s what it was.

* * *

After that football game, they had dinner together and decided that they wanted dessert. They came across what would be their own place - a quaint coffee shop tucked away unassumingly between trendy clothing stores. Tsumugi and Tasuku entered, ordered a slice of cake and sat in a corner separated from the rest of the tables. Tasuku then declared it “their spot” and maybe Tsumugi’s heart jumped a little.

Their forks bumped each other and the tiny clang made Tsumugi actually jump a little. Why was he so jittery, he didn’t even play in the game? Right, his brain kept replaying that stupid leap he did.

“Tsumugi, are you alright?” Tasuku asked, then glanced at the lower part of Tsumugi’s face, making Tsumugi suddenly self-conscious.

“Do I have something on my face, Tasuku?” Tsumugi attempted to give a small smile. Tasuku looked at him then reached out to touch the corner of his mouth. Tasuku wipes something away and Tsumugi held a breath the entire time, feeling blood rush to his cheeks.

“You had something there. It was bothering me so um,” Tasuku looked away, his face turning red, probably like how Tsumugi’s cheeks looked if he had a mirror. “Yeah.”

They don’t talk about it after that.

* * *

Despite everything, Tsumugi and Tasuku did come back to that cafe multiple times - it was home to their cramming sessions, script-writing, after-school hangouts, breakdowns, celebrations and everything in between.

Tsumugi would order green tea and Tasuku would always take his coffee black.

“Too manly for sugar, huh?”

“Are you a senior citizen already?”

In any case, the cafe was like returning to your place after a long hard day of stress. It was collapsing on your bed after you’ve been walking around all day. It held the same amount of significance to him as his garden. It was a place to relax and just, be who he was with his best friend.

But, Tsumugi thought, he didn’t just want a best friend, not really.

And, with his knowledge of body language, he knew Tasuku might have thought the same thing.

One can’t simply mistake multiple “accidental” brushes of fingers, gazes that linger a bit too long and break too fast, flushed cheeks, and hands that change positions in an attempt to keep one busy.

However, Tsumugi and Tasuku lie on a precipice. They both want comfort and home in that quaint cafe. Moving forward would only rock their proverbial boat and who knows? They might break the balance that they have.

Forget that the world’s on their side. Are they even on each other’s side? They stay with each other at all moments of the day when they’re not separated by their classes. They’re in the same theatre club. They’re in the same plays. It would be too much drama (pun completely intended) for them to just, change their relationship.

Tsumugi and Tasuku aren’t risk-takers anyway. It’s better to just wait it out.

* * *

A strange tension seemed to build.

When it would just be the two of them - the world would shift and bring everything into a hyper-focused whirl of color.

Watching a movie where they’d share the popcorn would end up in them leaning into each other a little bit closer, and Tsumugi could smell the cologne that Tasuku used ever since high school.

When their friend group decided to go to the amusement park and both of them ended up on the ferris wheel, Tsumugi swore he could see the fireworks outside reflected on Tasuku’s eyes. They spent the ride talking normally and holding hands while forgetting to let go. Tsumugi felt Tasuku’s touch linger on his palms for a long time afterwards.

In a move completely opposite of what Tsumugi did in that first realization of his feelings, on a beach outing, Tasuku tripped and fell on Tsumugi. They engaged in one of those “held gazes” for quite a while until one of their friends yelled at them to get a room and they immediately separated. Thinking about Tasuku’s face made Tsumugi chuckle.

No one wanted to make the first move. No one wanted to say those three words that would turn what they had completely upside down.

But Tasuku would say something that would change the star-crossed duo’s lives forever.

* * *

“Let’s audition for the God Troupe.”

Tasuku slammed down a flyer on the table in their cafe. Tsumugi cringed, hoping the customers didn’t see that display. Still though, Tasuku was always cute like that. He found himself smiling in spite of his embarrassment. Tsumugi picked up the flyer and read it.

“Auditions for the God Troupe are now open.” His eyes widened. It had been their dream - to act onstage together in the most prestigious troupe on Veludo Way. And now, the two of them were one step closer to achieving it.

“Come on, Tsumugi. This is it.”

How could he refuse? Tsumugi pocketed the flyer and gave Tasuku a determined look.

“Let’s go for it.”

Famous last words.

* * *

Worthless.

Useless.

Garbage.

That was what they had called him after that audition and it was something Tsumugi had always known. He’d been the one trailing after Tasuku, it’s always been Tasuku who was the star of the show, the one scoring the winning goal, the one who attracts victory and good luck like pollen to bees. Tsumugi was always the one on the sideline cheering him on and it seemed like all he would amount to. He’d have to leave, wouldn’t want to get in Tasuku’s way after all.

The old phone that both of them purchased together was ringing incessantly, buzzing at the corner of the floor. In an out-of-character moment (how is it that Tasuku seems to bringout the best and worst of him?), he had thrown it to the side.

“It’s a Nokia,” Tasuku had laughed. “The damn thing’s indestructible. You could probably throw it off the top floor of a building and it’d still be working.”

Tsumugi felt like he wanted to throw himself off the top floor of his building right now, but that wouldn’t solve anything. He had to figure out what to do with his life now that theatre was out of the picture. Were there any job listings for someone with a Psychology degree but spent his entire life gardening and acting in plays?

His phone continued to ring, a droning sound calling out to him all the while. Wanting it to stop, Tsumugi reached out for it and checked.

Missed calls and texts from Tasuku.

“Are you alright?”

“Tsumugi, do you want to talk?”

“I’m here.”

“Please, I’m worried. Talk to me.”

“I need you.”

And the last text,

“You’re still coming, right?”

With all his energy drained, Tsumugi texted a “Yes” and started packing his things, ignoring the implications of his reply. All that ran through his head was that he had to leave, he had to get out and leave Tasuku so that he can stand on his own. Tasuku didn’t need to spare any pity for him, Tasuku could hold onto his dream and get the spotlight that he deserved.

And with that, Tsumugi left everything behind - their dream, their friendship, their lingering feelings.

* * *

Tsumugi had been setting up the flowers in the garden of his new unit when he got the text from Tasuku.

“You missed my birthday, Tsumugi, is something wrong? Did I do anything wrong?”

Oh.

That was what he agreed to.

He forgot.

How could he have forgotten his lov - best friend’s birthday? Here he was again, being selfish, getting the spotlight that Tasuku deserved. The words from the God Troupe echoed through his mind.

Worthless.

Useless.

Tasuku didn’t need him and he didn’t need Tasuku. It was painful but, he had to cut him off if he wanted to get his life together. A new life, where he could stand on his own.

Swallowing his guilt, Tsumugi made the decision to ignore all of Tasuku’s calls and texts and eventually deleted his number.

He couldn’t recall a time where he had cried as hard as that moment.

The moment he knew when it was all over. The stars in between them burned too bright and engulfed them in their explosion. What Tsumugi had done was break their relationship into a million tiny irreparable pieces. Cracked and broken glass.

* * *

Unfortunately - or not, life has the tendency to take people in directions that they don’t expect. When you have something planned, expect a wrench to be thrown in your plans. The ideas you have, you might as well abandon them once a surprise shows itself in front of you.

This is how Tsumugi feels, as the leader of Mankai’s newly coined Winter Troupe. Once again, he’s found himself with Tasuku. Even if he thought it would have been better for them to be separated, life still found a way for them to be together.

Everything was still so awkward with them, even after that competition with the God Troupe and that time with the Torment Doll. Well it was to be expected, Tsumugi did just up and leave, and forcefully cut himself out of his best friend’s life. Tasuku still hasn’t forgiven him altogether.

For some reason, Tsumugi finds himself wandering into that old cafe that they used to call home. Out of habit, he orders a green tea. After paying and receiving his drink, he finds their table unoccupied and takes a seat. It’s been so long.

“Hey.”

A voice jolts Tsumugi out of his thoughts and he looks up to see the source. It’s Tasuku. Tsumugi puts down his drink in shock.

“Oh, I didnt know you’d be here.” Tsumugi tries to make conversation, ignoring the tension that’s been surrounding them ever since they reunited.

Tasuku sighs and takes a seat across him. Just like old times, Tsumugi can’t help reminiscing.

“I just felt like coming here, all of a sudden.” Tasuku lets out an odd chuckle. “Should’ve known you’d be here too. We’ve always been on the same wavelength, huh.”

Tsumugi glances down. He clears his throat and looks directly into Tasuku’s eyes. He should probably say this, before he doesn’t have the chance - they’ve been pretty busy these days.

“I’m sorry. About what happened with your birthday.” Tsumugi states. “I wasn’t in the best place, but it was no excuse for what I did. I’m not expecting forgiveness. I just want to clear the air between us.”

Tasuku looks away and crosses his arms. Tsumugi knows - knew,him better than anyone and he knows how to read his body language. Crossed arms means he’s on the defensive and he’s thinking it through.

After what seems like an eternity, Tasuku uncrosses his arms and sighs.

“Okay.” Tasuku gets up and prepares to leave. “See you Tsumugi.”

Words tell a different story from actions. Tsumugi caught the bare hint of a smile on Tasuku’s face and breathes a sigh of relief.

* * *

The tension hasn’t disappeared entirely but their relationship does improve. Sometimes, Tasuku helps him water the flowers in Mankai’s garden. Tsumugi goes over lines with Tasuku. They do improv together like how it was in high school and university.

It’s at the same time that the teasing returns.

“Tsumugi, mind if I borrow Tasuku for a bit - oh I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt our lovebirds!”

Azuma interrupts them during one of their practices for an upcoming play.

“Oh, if only I could capture that yearning, that adoration, that love in the air! You have a relationship described only in the most romantic of Shakespeare’s sonnets!”

Homare exclaims during one of his rants about seeking inspiration for one of his poems.

“Hmm, you guys look good together.”

Hisoka whispers before he falls asleep during dinner.

This time however, Tsumugi doesn’t feel his heart skip a beat, or his cheeks flush. It’s just a slight annoyance. His old self would have been over the moon, but now it’s just, nothing. Hollow where his feelings used to be.

It’s odd.

The Mankai actors have taken to calling the two of them TasuTsumu. Probably one of those shipping (?) things that he had only the vaguest idea about. Kazunari attempted to explain it to him before but he got lost.

Honestly, Tsumugi can’t help but think about it, over and over again. Tasuku used to tell him that his brain had a permanent address in the clouds with the amount of time it spends up there.

What is his relationship with Tasuku? And could it ever go back to how it used to be, before Tsumugi destroyed it with his own two hands? Were the stars still in place?

* * *

One night, the two of them are left alone in the dorms. They spend it watching an old movie. Seated on the couch, Tsumugi finds his hands gravitate towards Tasuku’s own. Their fingers brush and jolt, both jump away as if hit by a spark of electricity.

“It’s okay.” Tasuku speaks after a long while. He holds out his own hand, not looking in Tsumugi’s direction.

Tsumugi reaches out and entwines his fingers with Tasuku’s. It’s comforting. Maybe, for once, they should take everyone else’s advice?

“Tasuku - Tacchan,” He brings out the old nickname from their childhood. “Let’s go somewhere.”

“Whenever you’re free.” Tasuku whispers. “Tsumu.”

It should feel good. It should be a happy moment. But why does Tsumugi feel a sinking feeling deep down in his chest?

* * *

They decide on the date.

They watch a play together, hand in hand, but all Tsumugi feels is how cold and clammy his hands are. He attempts to lean on Tasuku but he feels his friend stiffen so Tsumugi doesn’t push it.

When they walk, the space between them is a bit too far because Tasuku’s legs are too long. Tsumugi finds himself walking a tad faster to keep up.

They eat in that old cafe - the one that should feel like home, but there’s a silence between them that’s deafening.

Had everyone been lying to them? Their friends and family? They’re alright with each other, he’s apologized.

Wait, Tsumugi realizes. He hasn’t really been listening to himself. He’s afraid of what he might find if he does. But he has an idea.

Tsumugi sees Tasuku tapping his fingers on the table. A signal, he wants to reach out but he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

“Tasuku, let’s hold hands.” Tsumugi says, this time holding out his own hand.

Tasuku reaches out his hand and grips Tsumugi’s hand.

Nothing.

It’s just a hand.

Comfort, but that’s all it was.

Tsumugi abruptly releases his hand and smiles, a sweet, sad smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks at Tasuku and sees his expression reflected in his friend’s own.

“Tacchan, thank you. You feel it too don’t you?”

“Yes.”

And despite Tasuku’s general obliviousness he catches on. Tsumugi lets out a sigh of relief. The two of them are on the same wavelength.

“Let’s just be friends.”

Tsumugi’s grandmother once told him a story about piecing together broken pottery with gold and he remembers that now. What they had might have been broken into pieces but they can be patched together with new memories. It won’t be the same as before - Tsumugi had made sure of that when he made that horrible decision, but they’ll be alright.

Tacchan and Tsumu, Tasuku and Tsumugi, the star-crossed duo, would create their own bridge of stars.

**Author's Note:**

> GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG JKSHFJKFHJKDFHDJ Classes start tomorrow and I wanted to post at least one thing.
> 
> I've been thinking about how i honestly prefer TasuTsumu as exes that stayed friends and this turned into a fic hahahahhah I'm so sorry about this pain.
> 
> Super inspired by one of Athena's fics that gave me this brainblast: https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/25964572
> 
> also credits to taylor swift's the moment i knew and all too well and last kiss for the angst bgm


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